It’s been pretty uneventful around these parts. I started the meds last Sunday so today is day 8. This time Dr. G has me on 225 IU of Menopur and the same of Follistim. I went on Friday for the first sono and blood work since starting the injections. I had about six follicles on each side.
I can’t really remember what size they were last time at this point in the cycle, but they seemed a little bigger to me this time. They were all 12 mm except for two that were 14 mm. The retrieval day is expected to be set for Friday and I’m a little afraid they are growing too quickly but that’s probably just me being paranoid.
After my appointment, they had me go straight home and take my first dose of Ganirelix. I was having a rough Friday-mostly emotionally but I also felt a little queasy and crampy-so I stayed home for the rest of the day after my appointment. I really am lucky to have such an understanding workplace and supervisor. I went home and watched “Call the Midwife” on Netflix. I’ve been wanting to watch the series and I figured now was a good time to watch in, since I probably won’t want to torture myself if things don’t work out as planned.
I have another sonogram tomorrow afternoon so I guess we’ll see how my follicles did over the weekend. I have a big work event on Thursday so I really hope everything happens on Friday, but if it doesn’t, they’ll just have to get along without me. I’m a little afraid of breaking the news if that happens, but IVF comes first. I could lose my job and I would be o.k. I wouldn’t be happy about it, but I’d be ok.
I’m on my third attempt at this and probably my last. I wouldn’t have had this many chances if it weren’t for the job and the insurance and for that I am eternally grateful. I keep living with my head in the future, it seems like I am unable to just savor the moment, unable to truly dwell in the hope and possibility of the next few days. It’s not over yet, but I’m existing as if it is, as if I already know the outcome. I already have a checklist of things in my head to work on toward adoption, if that is what is meant for us.
At the same time, I’m not worried sick over it like the first time. Nor am I trying to force optimism like I did the second time. I feel calm and resigned, although I may feel drastically different when it comes time for the dreaded two week wait. I feel like whatever is meant to be will be. I will try my best, as I’ve done all along. And at the end of the day, that is all you can do.
It sounds like you’re in a pretty good place. I know it can change from day to day or even minute to minute. But for now, just knowing you’ve done everything you can is all there is. Wishing you the best, as always!
Yes, hopefully I can stay in a good place no matter what happens 🙂 Thank you for the well wishes…I’ll take all I can get!